How to Have a Bad Day Step 30: Embrace Depression

Statistics say by the time Canadians hit 40, half of us will have—or have had—a mental illness. Half! So basically, either you’ve already been there, you’re headed there, or you’re the unicorn still pretending coffee, retail therapy, and “positive vibes” are enough to keep you sane. We joke, but the numbers are sobering. If half of humanity wrestles with mental illness at some point, then maybe the problem isn’t just us. Maybe it’s the world we’ve built.

(Note: This blog is twice as long as all the other ones, but I encourage you to stick with it. It's an important topic and I wanted to do it justice. And it ties in with the other 29 days quite well.)

My Experience with "Depression".

I’m not someone who rushes to the doctor. If I book an appointment, it usually means I’ve hit the end of my rope. I’m not against modern medicine—I’m grateful for the treatments and interventions that save lives—but I’ve learned that the medical industry, while good at saving your life, is not really interested in keeping you healthy. Unfortunately, that is left up to us.

In my mid-40s, I began to feel… off. I wasn’t myself anymore. So I booked an appointment to see what I was missing. Blood work revealed I was severely low in iron and B12, among other things. Sitting across from the doctor—a woman about my age—she shared the results and then asked me, “How are you feeling?”

How am I feeling? Tired. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Foggy. Guilty that I couldn’t keep up like I used to. It felt good to confess how I was feeling and broke down in tears. She didn't ask about my lifestyle, circumstances, or why I was feeling those things. Instead, she handed me a checklist and asked me to mark “yes” or “no” to a series of questions:

• Fatigue or low energy—even after rest

• Weight loss/gain or changes in appetite

• Trouble focusing, making decisions, forgetfulness

• Feeling down or hopeless

• Trouble sleeping (too little or too much)

• Feeling agitated or sluggish

• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness

• Loss of interest in things once enjoyed

• Thoughts of death or suicide

  
  

I checked “yes” to all but the last one. (I have had those thoughts in the past, but I had enough wits about me to know that's not something you share with a doctor.) She looked at me with concern and said, “You’re depressed.”

I sat stunned. “I don’t feel depressed,” I said. But she's a doctor so maybe I am. She wrote me a prescription for antidepressants, gave me pamphlets, and referred me to a mental health unit. I filled the prescription and took a pill the next day.

All day I felt uneasy. Something was wrong. I had no peace about it. Remember what I wrote earlier about personal convictions? This was one of those moments. I didn’t know anything about depression or antidepressants, but deep in my gut I heard a firm, “NO.” So I threw the pills out and cancelled the appointment.

Instead, I went back to my bloodwork. Low iron and low B12. I researched the symptoms of deficiency, and here’s what I found:

• Constant fatigue or weakness

• Memory loss, brain fog, confusion

• Mood swings—irritability, anxiety

• In severe cases: hallucinations, paranoia

• Muscle weakness, poor coordination

• Loss of appetite or weight loss

• Sleep changes

• Loss of interest in things you enjoy

Sound familiar? That’s almost word-for-word the depression checklist.

And here’s what hit me: she had my bloodwork right in front of her and still gave me antidepressants. She didn’t even try to treat the root cause—she slapped on a label and sent me home believing I was “depressed.” She wasn't interested in helping me. She wanted me drugged.

Don't Question the Drugs

When I went back for my follow-up appointment, she asked how I was doing on the medication. I told her the truth: “I took one and threw the rest out.” She was furious. Then she scolded me for not keeping my appointment with the Pine Unit.

I explained that once I started taking iron and B12, I felt better. Instead of celebrating that with me, she launched into a lecture: I had to go talk to someone. I wouldn’t get better otherwise. In fact, I would only get worse. I just smiled and said, “We’ll see.” and never went back.

I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am that I didn’t fall into that trap. Knowing what I know now about what these drugs do to people? That was a bullet dodged for sure.

It would take far too long to unpack all the dangers and side effects of antidepressants here, but let me just say this: if you—or someone you love—is taking them, please do your own research. Don’t just swallow the narrative.

Here’s the short version of why these drugs are a problem:

• They don’t fix what they promise to fix. The whole “chemical imbalance” explanation is flimsy at best. We’ve been sold a lie.

• They numb you across the board. Not just sadness or pain, but joy too. The natural highs you should feel hugging your dog, laughing with a friend, or holding your grandkids? Blocked. Psychiatrists call it “emotional constriction.”

• They skip the root cause. Doctors aren’t trained—or don’t take the time—to really get to know patients anymore. No digging into lifestyle, deficiencies, trauma, or patterns. Just get you in, write a script, and send you to the pharmacist.

By the way, the night I started writing this blog, Dwaine walked in and said, “Did you see who Tucker has on?” It was a psychiatrist talking about this very issue. I encourage you to check it out: https://youtu.be/UnhT77W9mtQ?si=B1Tl_XBQRBDBJ2IL  It will blow you away. I took that as confirmation that this was supposed to be the topic of Step 30's blog in the series.

But Isn't Depression a “Chemical Imbalance”?

You’ve probably heard that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, especially low serotonin. But according to researchers, that explanation is over simplified and misleading. Consider the following:

• A 2022 umbrella review led by Joanna Moncrieff concluded there’s no convincing evidence that depression stems from low serotonin levels or activity in the brain Wikipedia+14Nature+14PMC+14.

  
  

• A clear statement by UCL researchers: “Patients should not be told that depression is caused by low serotonin or a chemical imbalance…,” because the belief is not grounded in evidence University College London+1.

  
  

• Further reinforcement comes from a summary by Psychology Today, noting that there is no convincing evidence supporting the chemical imbalance theory—and many take antidepressants believing in this outdated idea Wikipedia+6Psychology Today+6University College London+6.

  
  

• Harvard Health emphasizes that depression “doesn’t spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals,” but rather involves a wide range of factors: genetic, environmental, and psychological Harvard Health+1.

  
  

• The biopsychosocial model of depression is now widely accepted—recognizing biological, psychological, and social contributors—but not centered around an imbalance of brain chemicals Verywell Mind+7Wikipedia+7Harvard Health+7.

  
  

• The “chemical imbalance” myth may actually harm: believing your mood can only be fixed by pills can undermine hope and hinder recovery strategies like therapy or lifestyle change University College London.

If it's Not a Chemical Imbalance, then What is it?

Feel free to disagree, but here are some ideas on why I think we struggle with not only

so-called-depression, but also a lot of the other topics that I have mentioned in this series.

Reason #1: Comfort and Ease

With a few exceptions, much of what we call depression today has less to do with a mysterious “chemical imbalance” and more to do with a different imbalance: too much ease. Don’t tune me out just yet!

Our ancestors didn’t have the luxury of sitting around analyzing their feelings all day. They were too busy surviving—hauling water, grinding grain, chasing off predators, mending roofs, raising children, and maintaining community ties. There wasn’t time for extended self-absorption; the day’s work didn’t allow it.

Fast forward to today: survival has been outsourced. Food appears on our doorstep with the tap of an app. Climate control is one switch away. Entertainment streams on demand. Entire industries exist for one purpose—making life as effortless as possible. And ironically, the easier life becomes, the harder it is to find meaning in it.

We imagine that more money, more leisure, and more options will fill us up—but instead, they leave us restless. King Solomon knew this long before modern psychology confirmed it. He had everything: wealth, women, wisdom, wine. His conclusion? “Vanity. A chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 1:14). Without a higher purpose, abundance doesn’t satisfy—it suffocates.

When survival gets quiet, the noise in our heads gets deafening. Too much time to think about ourselves. Too many mirrors reflecting back our insecurities. We spiral into pity parties not because life is objectively harder—but because it’s too easy. 

Which brings us to the next point: maybe the very struggles we’re trying to avoid are the ones meant to save us.

Reason #2: We Run From Struggle

Proverbs 16:25 says "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death"

We live in a culture that avoids discomfort like it’s the plague. The moment life gets hard, we reach for an escape hatch: entertainment, substances, distractions, or just plain avoidance. Pain is seen as abnormal, conflict as toxic, and suffering as proof that something is wrong with us. But here’s the irony: in trying to dodge suffering, we often intensify it.

Throughout history, people expected hardship. Struggle was built into life—whether it was plowing fields, enduring harsh winters, or rebuilding after wars. Hardship forged resilience, patience, and perspective. But in our world of endless comforts and instant fixes, we’ve been trained to see pain not as part of life, but as a malfunction. If it hurts, medicate it. If it’s uncomfortable, leave it. If it’s hard, quit.

The result? We lose the very muscle—emotional, spiritual, mental—that’s needed to endure life’s inevitable storms. Like someone who never exercises and then can’t climb a flight of stairs without gasping, we avoid suffering so much that when it shows up (and it always does), we’re crushed under the weight of it.

Modern psychology even has a term for this: avoidance coping. Instead of dealing with the cause of stress, people distract themselves or escape it. It might bring short-term relief, but long-term it worsens anxiety and depression. Why? Because the brain learns: I can’t handle hard things. Every time we run, we reinforce the belief that we’re powerless.

The same applies to conflict. Instead of working through disagreements, we ghost people, block family members, or cut ties. We confuse peace with the absence of tension, when real peace is actually forged in reconciliation, forgiveness, and healthy boundaries. The more we run from conflict, the more isolated we become—and loneliness is one of the most powerful drivers of depression.

In short, when we flee suffering instead of facing it, we train ourselves to break instead of bend.

Reason #3: We're Disconnected from Creation

For most of human history, life meant working the soil, planting seeds, harvesting crops, building with your own hands, and living in rhythm with the rising and setting sun. But today? We are about as far removed from that as possible. We sit in climate-controlled houses, surrounded by artificial light, sealed away from the natural world God designed for us. And wonder why we're sluggish.

Since the late 1800s, even the simplest contact with the earth has been disrupted. Rubber soles on our shoes mean we’re no longer grounded to the earth’s natural magnetism. Gloves keep our hands from feeling the soil (gotta protect that manicure!). Sunscreen blocks the rays we need for vitamin D. Umbrellas protect our hair from the rain. In the name of comfort, we’ve unintentionally cut ourselves off from God’s built-in systems of health and restoration.

And yet—look at what happens when we finally “escape.” On weekends, vacations, or holidays, we are drawn like magnets back to the mountains, the beaches, the forests, the lakes. Something deep inside us knows: this is where we were meant to be. God didn’t create the earth as a backdrop—it was designed to heal us, to nourish us, and to keep us whole in body, soul, and spirit.

The truth is disconnection from creation is disconnection from the Creator’s design. We were made to walk with Him in a garden. It’s no wonder our souls ache and our minds race when we trade that for cubicles and concrete.

Final Thought

I’m not dismissing depression or denying that mental illness is real—it absolutely is. But half of us by age 40? That’s not normal. Those numbers are staggering. It should shake us awake and make us ask: How did we get here? And more importantly, how do we take our lives back?

We padded ourselves with too much comfort and forgot how to endure. We insulated ourselves from creation and forgot how to breathe. We ran from struggle and lost the very strength meant to sustain us. Put all three together and it’s no wonder depression, anxiety, and hopelessness are on the rise. We’ve traded the things that make us alive for the things that make us numb.

Like everything else, the Kingdom is just the opposite. If you've walked through the other 28 days with me, this shouldn't come as a surprise. In the Kingdom, comfort isn’t the goal — purpose is. Nature isn’t a luxury — it’s medicine. And struggle isn’t a curse — it’s the cocoon where wings are formed.

Jesus never promised an easy life; He promised an abundant one. And abundance doesn’t come from escaping, numbing, or hiding. It comes from pressing in, showing up, and leaning on Him.

So plant your feet on the earth, embrace the hard things, and trust the One who overcame the world. That’s where life flows. And that’s how days start to get better.