How to Have a Bad Day Step 25: Have Double Standards

Netflix, Chill, and Cry Later

We live in the age of euphemisms. “Netflix and chill” really means: “Let’s emotionally attach, biologically bond, spiritually entangle… and then ghost each other in three days.” It sounds harmless in a meme, but the reality hits harder than any breakup song. Hookup culture keeps selling us fun with no consequences, but when the lights are off and the silence sets in, emptiness always shows up.

Culture keeps trying to convince us sex is casual, like borrowing a pen or grabbing a coffee. But if it’s really “just physical,” then why do breakups feel like funerals? Why do people drown in ice cream tubs and Taylor Swift playlists after a “casual fling”? Deep down, we all know—it’s never just physical.

The Toll of Multiple Partners: Body, Mind, Heart & Soul

One study found that men reporting 10+ lifetime sexual partners were about 70% more likely to develop cancer later in life; for women, that risk jumped to nearly 91%—compared to those with one or no partners. Harvard Health+1

Data from Sweden shows that young adults with high anxiety or depression were 20–30% more likely to have had multiple sexual partners in the past year—especially among women. PMC

Adolescent girls with three or more lifetime partners reported higher rates of prolonged sadness, suicidal thoughts, plans, and even attempts—across all racial and ethnic groups. PMC+11Montclair State University+11ResearchGate+11

Moral Relativism

But everyone is doing it. I'm living my truth. I'm not hurting anyone. You can't tell me what to do. Who says it's wrong? The Bible? That's so outdated and archaeic. We're liberated now. It FEELS right so it must BE right.

Welcome to the world of moral relativism. What is it? It is the idea that there is no universal or absolute set of moral principles. It's a version of morality that advocates "to each their own".

In Other Words, Double Standards

I’ve always found it amusing how people love moral relativism for themselves—until it comes back to bite them. We say, “No rules, no judgment, my truth, my life.” But the second someone wrongs us, suddenly we’re moral absolutists demanding justice. That’s not freedom—that’s a double standard. Take this example:

Sally embraces moral relativism and lives a lifestyle of casual sex. She starts seeing Peter, who shares the same view. They hook up for a few months. Then at a work conference, Peter hooks up with Becky. He doesn’t care about her. It just happened.

Sally is furious. She feels betrayed, wronged, and rallies her girlfriends to declare Peter a loser. The irony? Every single one of them is also practicing the same “no standard” moral relativistic lifestyle.

Here’s my question: What standard did Peter violate? If both parties claim there is no right or wrong—then how is he guilty? By their own rules, there’s nothing to be angry about. Yet Sally will cry for weeks about how life isn’t fair, how she was wronged, and then hop on Tinder for rebound sex to soothe her self-esteem.

The Insanity of Selective Morality

Do you see it? We want total freedom for ourselves—no morality, no accountability—but we demand everyone else live by the standards we’ve rejected. Deep down, we still expect the world to run on absolutes. We want people to be honest, spouses to be faithful, bosses to be fair, friends to be loyal. We’re outraged when they break the rules, but we justify when we do.

That’s not liberation. That’s chaos. It’s a life built on contradictions: wanting commitment without covenant, trust without truth, and love without loyalty.

There is a Better Way - The Kingdom of God

Like every well-ordered city, it runs on laws, principles, and absolutes—not shifting opinions or majority votes. The statutes are already decided. There are no councils rewriting ordinances to keep up with culture. And here’s the part we often miss: this City was designed for us—by the One who knows exactly what we need to flourish. It’s not restrictive; it’s protective. It’s where we thrive.

Step outside the City and you’ll find a different system: “my truth.” Here, everything is fluid, relative, and based on the feelings of the day. Here you can lie, cheat, steal, and fulfill every lust and desire to your hearts content. But so can everyone else. Moral relativity IS the governing value. Each person is their own god.

But they want the safety, purpose, and joy of the City—while still clinging to their independence, their self-worship, and their insistence on rewriting the rules. They want to steal without being stolen from. To cheat, but not be cheated on. Some even learn the “language” of City-dwellers, pretending they live there, but their lives always reveal their actual residency.

My Suki Baby

Let me try to explain it another way. Many of you know from my Facebook posts that Dwaine bought me a Conure (a small parrot) for my birthday. Her name is Suki, and she’s been the delight of my days. As I'm trying to write this blog, she keeps interrupting me, demanding attention and treats and, of course, it's my pleasure to stop and give it to her. Then it hit me. A perfect example to explain what I'm trying to say.

When Dwaine and I brought her home, we didn't set her loose, and say, “Well, make yourself comfortable.”

No. Before she was purchased I researched every cage available and bought the one best suited for her needs. I’ve even made adjustments to it for her maximum comfort, safety, and pleasure. I rearranged my office to best suit us in establishing our relationship. I play music and bird noises for her when I leave so she doesn't feel alone. I provide her with a balanced diet—seeds, nuts, pellets, beans, fruits, and veggies. I spend hours learning her body language, her sounds, her needs. I carefully choose toys that enrich her life, avoiding ones that might harm her. Even the small things matter—like removing unsafe metals from bells or making sure chewable materials won’t poison or choke her. None of this is a burden because I love her and I want her to thrive.

Now, ask yourself: is Suki better off inside that environment I created for her—or the one where she's “free” to roam the house, chew on wires, eat whatever she wants, or fly into a window? The answer is obvious.

God’s City Was Built the Same Way

If that’s true for me and Suki (and I didn’t even create her), how much more is it true of God and us? He crafted a City—His Kingdom—designed for our health, our joy, and our safety. He knows what destroys us and what makes us whole. His statutes aren’t arbitrary; they’re life-giving.

The City isn’t about restricting freedom—it’s about creating the conditions where true freedom is possible. Outside the City, people confuse indulgence with freedom, but it eventually poisons them. Inside, we discover what it means to be fully alive, fully loved, and fully safe in the environment our Creator designed.

Final Thought

When Suki first arrived, she stayed confined inside her cage. She wasn't interested in treats, toys, and definitely not me. I know she doesn't understand me, but everyday I keep telling her that the more she trusts me, the better her life will be and I show her all the amazing things I have for her when she's ready.

I hope you're catching what I'm saying. Our Father is the exact same way with us. It's ok if you don't understand. It's ok if you don't trust the builder of the City. He just wants you to come in. He'll take care of the rest.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? … If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:9-11

Will you keep living by your fluid "truth" outside the walls, or will you step inside the City where you were meant to thrive? Why not come on in and trust the Carpenter of the City and let Him show you how to have better days!