How to Have a Bad Day Step 26: Play the Victim

“He made me do it.”

“If she hadn’t said that, I wouldn’t have reacted like I did.”

“It’s not my fault, I was just born this way.”

“It’s not fair—why does this always happen to me?”

“You don’t know what I’ve been through"

“I can’t help it, life is just harder for me than for other people.”

“If my parents had raised me differently, I’d be fine.”

“Everyone always misunderstands me.”

"I'm only human."

“They set me up to fail—I never had a chance.”

“If the world wasn’t against me, I’d be successful.”

“God made me this way, so I can’t change.”

Basically life was unfair or is extra hard on you, and now you carry a laminated Victim Card into every exchange, every relationship, every conflict. Everything is stacked against you so it's never your fault.

Why We Do It

This is definitely our default setting. Ask any child caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and it will always begin with blaming, justifying, and whatever happened was not their fault. And guess where it started?

God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”   The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Neither takes responsibility—they both shift blame outward. And this pattern hasn’t stopped since. Victimhood is seductive because it feels safe. If everything is “done to me,” then I don’t have to take responsibility—or change. Playing the victim draws sympathy, and sympathy can feel like love and validation. But it’s a counterfeit connection.

For those who have been hurt, “the victim” can become a crutch identity. It’s familiar. It explains why life is hard. It even shields us from facing our own role in the pain.

The Age of Victimhood

Today’s society is overflowing with professional victims. We have entire movements fueled by the idea: “I am defined by what was done to me.” From #MeToo to #BlackLivesMatter to the alphabet soup of identity politics, the culture’s megaphone screams the same message: You’re oppressed. Stay oppressed. Live oppressed. Whole identities are built on being wronged.

I know there is real injustice in the world. Abuse, racism, exploitation, inequality—everywhere you turn. I’m not denying it. But what we’ve done is confuse acknowledging injustice with coddling and worshipping it. 

The Devil Made Me Do It

Ever heard that before? Maybe said it yourself? Well, it’s simply, and Biblically, not true. Unless someone is fully demon-possessed (a much rarer situation than Hollywood suggests), Satan cannot make you do anything. And even then, a person in that state isn’t in a position to care about excuses—they’ve got bigger battles to fight.

Contrary to popular belief, the enemy is not all-powerful. He’s not omnipresent (everywhere at once), and he’s not omniscient (all-knowing). Only God has those attributes. What Satan does have is experience. He and his army of minions have been around for quite a while - studying humanity for thousands of years. They know exactly what buttons to push because they’ve watched us fall for the same ones since Eden.

Here's an example: If I walked into a daycare, it wouldn’t take me long to cause chaos. A few toy grabs, a little unfair distribution of snacks, a loud interruption in the middle of nap time—give me five minutes and I could have toddlers screaming, hitting, hoarding, and melting down. Did I make them do those things? No. I just manipulated the environment in ways that triggered what was already in their nature.

That’s exactly how temptation works. The devil doesn’t create evil in you; he exploits the weaknesses already inside you. He doesn’t force you—he lures you.

James lays this out pretty clearly:

“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James 1:13-15

Here's another example. Put chocolate cake in front of me and watch me eat way more than I should. Throw some coconut in it and it holds the same amount of temptation for me as licking the inside of a garbage can.

Blaming the devil (or anyone) for our choices is dangerous because it keeps us from repentance. If you or Satan is the reason I blew up in anger, or cheated, or lied, then I can excuse myself from responsibility. But James cuts through our excuses—temptation starts with me. With my desires. And until I own that, I can’t heal or grow.

The devil may whisper, but it’s my feet that walk into the trap, my hands that take the fruit, and my heart that entertains the desire. That’s why Scripture calls us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), to crucify the flesh (Galatians 5:24), and to sow to the Spirit instead of the flesh (Galatians 6:7–8).

Final Thought

Look at King David. He committed murder, adultery, and theft—all in the same scandal. But when Nathan confronted him, David didn’t make excuses or play the victim. He owned it immediately, fell to his knees, and repented (Psalm 51 is the raw record of his confession).

Were there consequences? Absolutely. But he was restored quickly, and God still called him “a man after my own heart.”

Contrast that with Adam in the garden: “The woman you gave me…” (Genesis 3:12). In other words: “It’s Eve’s fault. Actually, God, it’s kind of Your fault too.” Excuses didn’t bring restoration—only distance.

If you want to ruin your day, stay a victim. Replay the same bitterness, excuses, and blame over and over until it’s all you know. But if you want to move forward? Tear up the victim card. Take responsibility. Repent.

Victims replay bad days on repeat. But sons and daughters of the King walk in grace, truth, and restoration. And when you live like that, you don’t just survive the day—you actually get to have a good one.