How to Have a Bad Day Step 9: Complain

We all complain. Some of us do it eloquently (with a latte in hand), some do it passive-aggressively (looking at you, vague Facebook posts), and others… well, others just go full “this WiFi is ruining my life” meltdown.

What Complaining Actually Does

While it might feel therapeutic in the moment, habitual complaining rewires the brain to focus on negativity. Over time, your brain becomes hyper-alert to everything that's wrong.

Your relationships suffer and your stress hormones spike — yes, complaining physically stresses you out.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, says complaining shrinks the hippocampus — the part of the brain critical for problem-solving and emotional regulation. In other words: the more you complain, the less equipped you are to fix what you’re complaining about.

The Original Grumble-Fest

If you've read the Old Testament, you'll notice a recurring theme: Israel was the OG of chronic complaining. And God? He didn’t shrug it off. He saw it for what it really was—distrust and rebellion. It actually says "his anger was aroused".

Think of it this way: If you're a parent, which child are you more inclined to bless—the one who’s thankful and takes care of what they’ve been given, or the one constantly whining about what they don’t have? Exactly.

Gratitude draws favor. Grumbling delays promises. Just ask the generation that missed the Promised Land.

Gratitude: The Brain's Reset Button

When you practice gratitude (and I don’t mean fake optimism, but actual thankfulness), your brain releases dopamine and serotonin — the feel-good hormones. It improves sleep, mood, immunity, and resilience.

Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship. It just gives you perspective so the hardship doesn’t erase you.

Need a Kick Start of Things to be Grateful for?

Over half the world (≈ 4.4 billion people) still lack safe, reliably available drinking water at home — yes, more than half of humanity lives without clean water on-demand. 

Around 785 million people don’t even have access to basic drinking water services — and 2 billion live with water sources contaminated by feces. 

About 330 million individuals worldwide are without safe, stable shelter.

Around 9% of the world's population goes to bed hungry. That’s approximately 735 million people.  If you eat three meals a day, you’re already doing better than nearly 1 in 10 people worldwide.

Over 110 million people are displaced by conflict and persecution.

Over 2 billion people (about 25% of the world's population) live in countries affected by conflict, instability, or violence.

I always think what makes me so special that I have a bed to sleep in? A shower to stand in? A fridge full of food? Why isn't there a man at my door with a gun forcing me to leave because he claims my home is his? I'm not special. I am fortunate. I do not deserve these comforts and luxuries and in an environment driven by entitlement and rights I (try to) thank my Father for them everyday.

Ever grumble about aging? Don't we all! Dwaine and I are in that phase of life where we have actual conversations about what's hurting, sore, or not working anymore. And we give thanks for it because even growing old is a blessing. Not everyone is given this gift and we will do our best not to squander it.

What Scripture Says About Grumbling

Philippians 2:14 makes a bold statement:

"Do everything without complaining or arguing..."

Yes. That’s an imperative statement. Not a suggestion.

Want to know what God's will is for you? "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:18 No need to take quizzes to answer the question, "What is God's will for my life?".

Guess who said those things...Paul. He learned to be content in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11–13). Prison? Yep. Shipwrecks? Absolutely. Snakebites? (Really?!) Yes that too. And he still did not complain. Why? Because his hope wasn’t in comfort — it was in Christ. So we can trust he knows what he's talking about when he admonishes us to "give thanks always and for everything" because he knows Jesus will give him strength through it all.

"I Can Do All Things" — But Not What You Think

Ah yes. The beloved coffee-mug verse:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."— Philippians 4:13

Slapped on gym bags, locker room walls, and graduation cards, this verse has become the Christian motivational poster child for "You got this!" Whether it’s a football game, job interview, or baking your first sourdough—just quote this verse and BOOM, divine power boost, right?

Well… not exactly.

Let’s look at what Paul actually said. (Spoiler: he wasn’t training for a 5K.)

Philippians 4:10–13 (paraphrased) "Thanks for thinking of me—your support means a lot. But just so you know, I’ve learned how to be content no matter what’s going on. I’ve had abundance. I’ve had need. I’ve gone hungry. I’ve been full. And through all of it, Christ gives me the strength to endure."

This verse isn’t about scoring touchdowns or manifesting your dream house. It’s about spiritual resilience. Paul wasn’t saying, “With Jesus, I can do literally anything!” He was saying, “With Jesus, I can endure anything—abundance or lack, comfort or chaos.”

It’s not a prosperity promise. It’s a perseverance promise.

Which, admittedly, doesn’t make for the most exciting sermon at a “Name it and claim it” conference. But it is the kind of truth that can anchor your soul when life gets heavy.

So the next time you quote Philippians 4:13…Don’t think touchdown. Think trench.

Not "I can crush my goals." But “I will give thanks and keep going—because Christ strengthens me.”

And honestly? That’s a far more miraculous kind of strength.

Final Thought:

If Jesus could thank the Father before being rejected, betrayed, beaten, tortured, and crucified… we can probably manage a little thankfulness during our minor inconveniences.

So the next time you feel a complaint coming on, try this instead:

Take a breath. Speak some truth. Say thanks. And maybe — just maybe — lighten up a little.

Because yes, your WiFi might still suck……but your soul doesn’t have to.

Plus a little thankfulness will indeed help you to have a good day!